I don't know where you are in this great big beautiful world, but I'm in St. Louis, Missouri, and it's the middle of August and it's HOT. I mean, really HOT--temperatures in the upper 90's and even reaching 101 the other day. Good lord!
Anyway, in the middle of all this hotness (can I say "hotness"?), it's also time for many kids to be heading back to school, which means that moms get some time to themselves again soon. And that's cool. In fact, that may be the coolness that you need right about now.
Of course, whether or not it's hot or cool has nothing to do with college, but the fact that your kids are heading back to junior or senior year does. Over the next couple of months, I'll have lots of specific info for you all about how to sail through this process, largely in response to the questions I receive from moms. For this week, though, just two things. Two things for moms of seniors.
One: When you have a chance, and it should be sooner than later though, get your kid to sit down with you to talk about SAT and ACT scores. And by scores, I don't mean evaluating how good or not good they are; I mean, find out if your son or daughter is finished with testing from junior year. Chances are she isn't (or he isn't.) That means that you need to get to the ACT website (www.act.org) or the College Board website for SAT (www.collegeboard.com) and register for fall tests. Check your family calendar, your school calendar, and your kid's calendar to see if you need to clear conflicts, and make sure your kid is registered to take ACT or SAT in the fall if he still needs to. This is an excellent opportunity to get the input of your kid's counselor, too. But keep it focused on testing.
It's easy. Just register. Every year, I talk with kids who put this off and miss the deadline for registration. Either that, or the test center where they had hoped to take the test is already full. Of course, there are still options if one of those scenarios occurs for you--ie, paying a huge fee to go "stand-by," but there's already enough stress, so let's de-stress by registering now. That's all I'm talking about--registering. Later, we can focus on test-prep if we still need it, scores, subject tests, if your kid needs them, and so on.
Two: Don't make senior year all about college. I know that sounds a little contradictory, but there is a difference between being organized and having every conversation be about what your kid needs to do to get admitted to college. One good idea for many families is to have a regular set time to get together to talk about college issues--say once a week, but then the rest of the week is college-free talk time. (You'll be amazed at the dinnertime arguments this technique eliminates.) Trust me, the subject is looming over your kid's head without you bringing it up. I'll write more about this later in the fall, too. For now, however, I just want to suggest that you be mindful of how often you initiate conversations about college. Hey, if your kid wants to talk, by all means, talk, talk about anything, but what often happens is that it is the parent who brings the topic up often, and in a kid's mind it sometimes looks like nagging.
I realize I've suggested that you walk a tightrope, and I know that at times it will feel like an impossible thing to do, but you can do it. And if you fall off the tightrope, no big deal--just dust yourself off and get back on. For now, make sure your son or daughter is registered for any further testing needed (try to have all the testing finished by December--November if your kid is looking at ED anywhere.) And then, make it clear that you don't want to manage this process for your son or daughter, but you would like to have a regular time to talk things over. Finally, and maybe most importantly, plan some time together where the goal is NOT talking about college: go to the movies together, play golf together, teach each other how to do something new, go shopping. Just don't talk about college--unless, of course, your kid brings it up. I'm a firm believer of being ready to talk to kids about anything any time they initiate the conversations.
Senior year is like no other. Hang on! And let me know what you think.
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