Guten tag!

Today I'm writing to you from a very overheated and noisy German cafe, surrounded by über-hip and ultra-thin twenty-somethings who are all dressed like models right out of a Vogue or whatever fashion magazine it is that trendy people read.   I should add, I am not one of the trendy nor one of the hip nor anywhere even close to anything resembling skinny, so if you were to meet me here today, it would be pretty easy to figure out which one is me:  the old, bald American guy by the window.

I'm in Munich this week to talk to kids about studying in the US.  It's a city I love, and I wish I could visit here more often.  Not because of this particular cafe, mind you.  No, I'm happy to leave these venues to the kids.  I love Munich for other reasons, mostly though because it's really different from home, and thus forces me to think about things I normally might not think about.  And that's the point of this post this week.

I don't like to use the word should often, but there is certainly plenty of reasons for our kids to spend some time abroad during their college years.  Being plunked into an environment where thought and language are different is good for the brain and the soul.  There is no better way for kids to learn about point of view than to surround them with people who have a decidedly distinct point of view from what they're used to.  Granted, they don't have to study overseas for that, but being in a foreign culture is a terrific way to experience life from a new perspective.

Overseas, kids will quickly learn to negotiate the day-to-day intricacies of life in a different culture. They'll also learn new language skills and that will eventually lead to an expanded way of seeing things.  They'll test their values, maybe even their limits, and they'll come home changed.  They'll have more to offer in general and they'll be able to add "a semester in Shangai," for example, to their resume.  But more importantly, I think, is that living abroad gives kids a broader context of what the real world is.

Sure, sipping lattes among the cool people doesn't necessarily guarantee any added wisdom by itself, but waking up each day to a new language and a new set of challenges that can range from observing legal systems to business ventures or being asked to explain political issues or literary technique creates a wealth of opportunity for kids to grow, to learn, to become more equipped with dealing with current world issues once they come home.

So, a short piece today, inspired by this loud cafe on Odeonsplatz--if it were a little quieter in here, perhaps I would write more!  Talk to your kids about a semester or year abroad.  International study is a remarkable opportunity.

Let me know what you think.

Time to talk about MONEY!

Wherever you are in the world, I hope it's as gorgeous a day there as it is here in St. Louis today.  And I'm not talking cool, crisp fall weather either--no, think 75 degrees, and sunny!  Unbelievable.  But let's not talk about weather.  Let's talk about money. 

Money is often the element that  produces the most stress for people when their kids are looking at colleges, and for good reason.  Sending a kid off to an undergraduate institution is tantamount to buying (and paying for) a brand new car every year for four years.  Even with financial aid, some folks are still paying a big chunk of change to send their kids off--even at state schools.  In fact, sometimes particularly at state schools!  

So, a quick financial aid primer.  I'm starting with the basics.  You need to become familiar with the FAFSA website (www.fafsa.ed.gov) which every college will ask you to submit.  Those letters stand for the Free Application for Federal Student Aid. You submit it in January of your son or daughter's senior year in high school--not sooner.  The fine people at FAFSA evaluate the info you've submitted and then determine what they think you can afford to pay, sending that info off to the colleges where your child is applying.  

The second form that many schools will ask you about is the CSS Profile, which is on the College Board's website, and is not free (www.profileonline.collegeboard.com.)  Submitting that form is a similar  process, but the information requested is a little more detailed.  You should do that as soon as possible during your child's senior year.  

Each college will respond to the information generated by those forms differently.  And this is the key to remember:  financial aid offices are independent of each other, and therefore, the aid package that you receive will vary from institution to institution.  How they process the info and what info they take into consideration--not to mention the actual amount of money they have available--will be different at each school.  For example, once a student of mine received no financial aid because her father, who had been absent from her life since she was two, refused to submit financial records and that particular college's financial aid office required the information.  Period.  At another college, however, that same kid received a generous aid package, accepting the fact that the father was not going to be a source of income for this kid no matter what.  So, things can really vary.

My best advice is always this:  Call the financial aid office at each school where your children are applying, and ask for their guidance.  Their job is to help make it possible for qualified kids to attend their institution.  Most of them really want to help you.  Even at the school that offered no money to my student above, the financial aid officer was genuinely sympathetic, but her institution's policy kept her from being able to help the kid. 

Also, remember that aid usually comes in a package that consists of four parts: federal money that you don't have to pay back (grants), private money that you don't have to pay back (scholarships), a combination sometimes of federal and private money that you do have to pay back (loans), and occasionally the option for a student to have a campus job to cover basic expenses (work-study.)

For a really good explanation of all these options with a wealth of sources, go to the US News & World Report Education section on "Paying for College."  Here's the link:  http://goo.gl/2WJOs It's a wonderful resource that parents need to know about.  

But remember, the best source to get the best answers you need is usually going to be the very people who give the money away--and that would be the good people in financial aid themselves.  So, make a friend in every financial aid office where your kid wants to go to school, and ask your questions of that person.  Don't try to bargain with them because it won't work, but do be honest in your concerns, and you will find that in most cases they will be really helpful.  After all, they deal with these questions EVERY day.  It may feel new or unusual or uncomfortable to us, but it's just routine for them.  In fact, one financial aid dean told me that it is often the really unusual stories that are the most interesting to his staff.  Go figure.

Best of luck!  College is expensive, but it doesn't have to be out of reach.  And there are people who can help. 

Hey, Mom! Wanna take the SAT?

I just read a terrific story posted on unigo.com, by a 57-year -old woman who decided to take the SAT.  Sue Shellenbarger, who was challenged by her son, wrote the story for the Wall Street Journal, and I've included the link at the bottom of this post.  I think it's a brilliant idea--not taking the SAT at age 57 (or at any age beyond, say 18 or 19 really), but expanding our point of view when it comes to the pressure our kids face as they go through the process of applying to college.

We all know that standardized testing is a drag, really.  But what we probably don't realize is just how much of a challenge it is compared to when we took these kinds of tests--"back in the day."  Shellenbarger points out that even the registration process is more complicated than it ever was for our teenaged selves.  She also does a fantastic job of pointing out how kids today are more prepared for sheer endurance given that their school days and homework loads are also greater.  And I really like the way she admits to reacting to the pressure of preparing for the test by doing all the things she warned her own kids never to do--procrastinating, getting depressed, and adopting sloppy study habits.

Then she puts an interesting neurological spin on the whole thing, relating declining math abilities to age--a sobering slant for sure.  Enough said.

She goes through all the prep, taking practice tests, and she also goes through all the angst--just as many of our own kids do.  In the end, she is a changed person.  I'd like to think that I'm a slightly changed person, too, for having read about her experiences though I have no intention of taking the SAT or ACT ever again.

When I administered those tests as part of my job as a college counselor at a number of schools where I worked, I used to read through the questions to see which ones I could do, and if I knew all the vocabulary words  I usually did fine with the reading and language questions though honestly I remember few things more boring to read than some of the passages on those tests where kids have to analyze and identify tone, purpose, style or content.  The math questions I loved, secretly believing that I could do any math question thrown at me.  Truth was, of course, that I couldn't.  Math had gotten harder!  Much harder than I remember from Mr. Link's eleventh-grade Algebra II/Trigonometry class, which is about as far as I got.

Standardized testing is a rough deal for many kids, no matter how we look at it.  And my guess is that it would be a challenge for us adults as well--in fact, a bigger challenge than we might want to admit. By looking at how the process has changed, from a 57-year-old mom's point of view, I think we all become a little richer.  I'm thankful that Sue Shallenbarger accepted her son's challenge, and I'm even more thankful that she wrote about it.  You can see the story at http://www.unigo.com/articles/sat_review/?taxonomyId=760030

Let me know what you think.