The Words of Summer

How's everyone's summer reading going?  I hope you and your kids are enjoying the month of July.  I used to write that I hoped people were enjoying the slower pace of summer, but then I realized for many people, summer is often more hectic because you've got kids' schedules to deal with--things like camps, summer programs, part-time jobs, lessons, softball, learning to drive, and so on.  Many moms have told me that they look forward to fall so they can relax a little!  Even kids these days cram tons of activities into their summers, and as a result, summer often is over before we realize it has begun.

Whatever your summer is looking like, I do hope you've found time for reading--both for yourself and for your kids.  Letting your kids see you read is a great way to encourage them to read, too.  And one of the best things they can do in the way of test-prep is to read for pleasure.  Reading builds vocabularies and opens us to new worlds.  I still remember the first lines of an Emily Dickinson poem that I read in high school:  "There is no frigate like a book / To take us Lands away."  Pretty much a recluse herself, Dickinson writes about travel to faraway places in the mind.  I love the idea.

No matter what grade your kids will be in when school starts, vocabulary building is a good thing to be doing with them now.  Of course, that comes from reading, but it can also come from family vocabulary projects.  The simplest one, I think, is to post a word-a-day calendar somewhere in your house.  Probably the kitchen is the best place, near or on the fridge, where your kids will see it.  Some families tear the words off, one day at a time, and take them to the dinner table to talk about, or tape them to the bathroom mirror to reinforce the learning experience.  A fun thing is to take a few of the words and make a game out of using them in conversations about something else as often as possible.  Anything to get kids to play with language will expand how they use language and help them to remember new words.  Tell a kid, for example, that you have a robust appetite or a hankering for chocolate chip cookies, and ask them to use the words in a different way.

Some families read newspapers or magazines together.  This is another great way to encourage conversation about vocabulary.  Once a week, you can ask kids to bring to the table two or three new words they found in news articles--either in print or electronically.  If you're really brave, you can challenge your kids to find three words in a story that they think you can't define, and then you all learn a little bit from that venture.

Speaking of electronically, I've enjoyed reading a few things online this summer.  It's easier to read on my laptop than I thought it would be, and I've even found myself downloading articles on my phone while waiting for appointments.  Book venders are pushing all kinds of reading devices on us now, and I'm eager to see which ones stick around.

If you travel abroad, of if your kid is studying a language, strive to find examples of words in a target language that are clearly connected to words in English.  Watch out for false cognates, too--words that look the same in English, but have different meanings; for example, asistir in Spanish looks like "assist" but it really means "to attend" as in going to a concert.  Let your kids teach you what they know about the language they're studying, and you'll open up great conversations about words.  Often, a word in a foreign language will trigger the learning of a new word in English due to the way languages develop and have been influenced.  A trip to an Arabic country, for example, will quickly lend itself to a conversation about Spanish vocabulary, much of which is taken from Arabic.  A follow-up then would be for kids to see how many words in English might be connected to those Spanish or Arabic roots.  A little geeky,  yes, but this can really be fun, too.

Whatever you do this summer, remember to take time for the physical act of reading.  It slows us down, it opens interior doors, it gives us a break.  And remember that the best thing your kids can do to improve their skill and enjoyment of reading is to read, too.  So, grab a book, a magazine, a laptop--whatever, and enjoy a few moments of time for yourself this month.

Let me know what you think!

Getting Admitted with Good Works?

I posted this last week on my blog for students, but I think the info is also useful for parents--at least, given how many times parents ask me about community service.  So, Mom, here is what I say to kids about community service:

One of the guys at my favorite cafe in St. Louis (Park Avenue Coffee in Lafayette Square--definitely worth checking out) is a guy with a big personality who remembers your name and what you ordered last time you were in.  It’s part of the cafe’s excellent marketing strategy, I’m sure, to make the customers feel like they’re part of the neighborhood community, and it works.  Park Avenue Coffee is a cool place where friends meet to study together, have some gooey butter cake, or just hang out.  And the coffee is great, too.

There are actually several baristas who work the counter and make the drinks, and I’ve noticed that almost all of them have tattoos.  The tattoos range from flowers to snakes to hearts to calligraphy.  The guys always wear Park Avenue Coffee t-shirts, too, with the words Good, Good, Good on the back, referring to good coffee and good people.  

So, one day, Josh, the guy who remembers my name, was preparing my drink, and he was facing away from me when I noticed that a couple of words were stenciled into the backs of his arms, just above his elbows.  I couldn’t figure out exactly what they said, so I asked.  (I probably wouldn’t have asked a stranger, but this guy’s been making lattes for me for a long time.) 

“It’s from Isaiah,” he said.  “Here am I” on one arm, and “Send me,” on the other.  

Isaiah, I thought.  The Bible.  Kind of surprised me.  But I actually remembered this passage from my childhood once Josh had mentioned it, and it made me think of our calling as humans to be good people--okay, the t-shirt connection here is a total coincidence.  And what I mean by being good people is this:  I think we have an obligation to volunteer to help others.

As a college counselor, I get this question all the time:  how important is community service for my college application?  And I want to say it’s very important and also it’s not important at all, and both answers are right.  The passage from Isaiah refers to the prophet hearing the voice of the Lord calling out to him and asking whom he will find to do his work?  That’s when Isaiah raises his hand and says, “I’m right here.  Send me to do it.”  The message I take is that wherever you are (or wherever I am) we can be raising our hands and volunteering to do something for someone else.  That is a good thing.

Colleges look for many different kinds of kids, all of whom, together, will create a vibrant undergraduate community of people who are intellectually curious and have compassion about making the world a better place.  One way to demonstrate your compassion is through service.  However, just fulfilling a high school requirement of putting in six weekends at a soup kitchen means almost nothing if what you did wasn’t something that was  meaningful to you.  Admissions officers can tell right away whether the service you have listed on your application has been a priority, of if it’s just been you fulfilling your duty and padding your resume.  In the case of the latter, your community service doesn’t help you a bit. 

Volunteering is an important thing to do in and of itself.  Yes, you should do community service but only because you WANT to do it.  You should want to do it because it’s the right thing to do.  

I also think people who want to “help the underprivileged” should stay as far away from community service as possible.  Looking down on people is a crappy way to look at anyone, and it surely doesn’t make anybody feel better to know that someone else is doing a good deed out of  pity or condescension.  We should engage in making our communities better because they’re our communities.  

Volunteering gives us the opportunity to do some good, but it also gives us a window through which we can look at our own lives and values.  It makes us better people.  If we are lucky, it may even make us Good, Good, Good (like the slogan on the Park Avenue Coffee t-shirt.)  

For once, forget about your college application, and just concentrate on being a good person.  I know, I know-- shocking advice.

Anyway, to wrap this up, if you’re thinking about adding community service to your application for admission to an undergraduate institution, my advice is to do so only if you think that volunteering is important work.  Do it because you understand the connection between helping out and helping yourself.  Do it because not doing it would leave a void in your life.  Do it because it is part of who you are, part of your value system, and part of what you care about.

And finally, do it only if you can honestly and eagerly raise your hand and say, “Here am I.  Send me.”  

The Doctor is IN

Applying to college is a pretty straightforward process, but it can easily become tricky because of any number of factors.  The key is understanding how academic major, selectivity, geography, gender, grades, extracurriculars, testing, timing, finances and presentation contribute to the possible outcome of any admissions decision.

The process is straightforward; the influence that those individual factors has on the process is what shakes things up.

This blog is really meant to give parents--specifically you moms--a resource about any of those factors that you may have questions about.  That way, when you talk to your kid, or your kid's counselor, you know what you're talking about--or at the very least you know which questions to ask.

Many times, in my traditional role as a college counselor, I've seen kids say, "Mom, it doesn't work that way," or worse, "Mom, you don't know what you're talking about,"  effectively shutting down the communication that you, MOM, want to keep open.

I launched this project about a month ago, and I've received a lot of positive feedback, but what I haven't received is very many specific questions from moms yet.  I understand that it's summer, and that once school begins, things will heat up, but if you're reading this now, do a mom you know a favor and forward it to her.

So, I hope you moms will use this forum to ask questions. I'm serious about sharing what I know.  If you'd rather send me a message directly, my email address is askjohnaboutcollege@gmail.com.  We can talk about anything you want.

I also have a blog for high school juniors and seniors on my website:  www.askjohnaboutcollege.com.  Last week I talked about using Twitter feeds as a way to learn about colleges and this week I'll be talking about the importance of service.  You can check those out, too.

Hope to hear from you soon.